Question...

In the last episode, Scott was left for broke, abandoned and alone with no hope or direction...


So, its been months since I last blogged, and a good break at that. I was able to take time for myself to re-evaluate my life, well in terms of lifestyle and my future that is.
If there's something I've noticed though, it's that friends come and go in your life, but I guess that cannot be helped. Some succeed and forget about you, or you excel yourself and leave others behind. The only friends that matter are the ones that keep you on your pace, or the ones that can bring you onto their level.

Its hard to develop an answer to cope with these outcomes, but it just happens, and there's no real explanation for this.Especially, in my case I guess you can say its been a wild ride, but as exciting as it may be to step in, the moment you're on, you want out. Don't get me wrong though, I've met lots of new people and made many great friends. Shit, I'm pretty sure I can say that they are the one in a few that I cherish in life.

I don't know though, for years I've had this unpleasant feeling inside me... This feeling of apathy, that overly passive pessimist that controls my confidence, the overly hopeless romantic side of me. I always seem to get myself into these situations where I somehow conjure the confidence to make myself believe that everything can work out to a picture perfect scene, but I know on the inside, the truth of the conflict. The truth that runs me over when I put my wall down, ultimately turning me into an emotionless puppet for everyone's pleasure... Like how I'm feeling right now.

Truth is, I have no idea what I'm doing right now. I'm so afraid to wait right now, I'm scared that if I wait for too long, I may never get the chance ever again, but at the same time... Am I ready for this? Is this the appropriate time? or Will I just be jumping the gun again.

But since then, I guess you could say I've been having this feeling of desperation... I cannot think of a better way to approach this... I think I'm going to give it my all, and accept what happens.